About

I came to this work circuitously. There was a lot of life along the way. All of it turned out to matter.

I earned a BA in Ethics from Georgetown University and an MA in Ethics from Yale Divinity School.  In 2025, I completed formal training in neurodivergence affirming approaches to adult wellbeing. Since I was a small child, I was drawn to questions of spirituality, meaning, and how best to go about an honest, healthy life. I have also always been curious about the intersection of sex, culture, and gender. None of the rules felt intuitive to me. That lack of natural resonance offered its own kind of education.

From a very young age, I was repeatedly told that I was too sensitive, too shy, too easily overwhelmed, and more anxious than was reasonable. I was also too blunt, too curious, and often talked about things that I was not supposed to bring up. So they said. 

Relationships were particularly confounding to me.  I was rarely without people but somehow I persistently felt alone. I enjoyed connecting but invariably found myself in dynamics that didn’t fit. It was as if I could not hear myself around other people. Very often I felt they could not hear me either. My words and reactions were misread even by people close to me. I cried easily, from frustration or overwhelm. Others interpreted tears as revealing fear or fragility. I needed ample solitude but whenever I leaned into it, I was perceived as aloof or self-centered.  With peers I could be enthusiastic and excited. I learned too late that I was perceived as flirting.  All along, I remained keenly aware that I was far stronger and more independent than people seemed to realize. I knew I was not clearly understood in many relational contexts but I had no idea how to address it. It was exhausting to work hard at relating and still fail to get my reality across. Being on my own seemed least likely to cause harm in any direction. In relationships and out, I did my best to live in a way that felt loving and kind. I hoped that would be enough.

After graduate school, while raising my children, I kept searching for explanations and solutions. I explored methods in the realms of psychology, health, and various embodied practices. I was nothing if not thorough and determined to be well. But I didn’t have the most important piece of context to solve the puzzle.

In recent years, I came to learn that decades of my life had been shaped by my navigation of autism and ADHD.

Oh.

Updated research about high masking adults brought me clarity and tremendous grief. The constant barrage of misunderstandings that came from outside of me had never made sense. My selfhood had been warped through the looking glass. After many years of struggle, I now find myself on the other side.

Am I unscathed? Not at all. But I do feel vindicated and relieved.

Little Kathryn always knew exactly who she was inside.

My neurodivergent identity helps explain why it took so long to share myself.

Grown up Kathryn is moving forward with the whole truth.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​